By the time we are adults, we all have an emotional tool box. Some people have a very limited set of tools in there. Some people have just a very large hammer and maybe a smaller one. Their ability to negotiate delicate situations and intense emotions is pretty poor. They only know how to ignore or bash. Others have tools they have never learned how to use. It is a jumbled mess in there. They don't even know what many are for.
With clients I help them expand the tool selection in their emotional tool box and learn how to use the tools they already have. I teach them how some tools are good for one kind of situation and another kind of tool works better for others. It can be a slow process and feel a little clumsy at first but the pay off is huge. Clients come away with a fully organized and functional tool box but more importantly, with the confidence that no matter what happens, they a have a specific tool for that.
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