Have you found it?
Finding a place to put down roots is harder for some people than others. And some people don't want to put down roots at all. But for me, it has been a long journey to know what it feels like to belong anywhere. I have lived here on this 54 acre grassland for 7 years, in a straw bale house I built with my husband and a friend. And I realized last night while watching the dusk fade to night, I truly feel at home here. When away from this place, I miss the earth; I miss the smells; I miss the dawn and the dying light. I miss the expansive sky and the bird song. I miss the things that are unique to this place although I know you can find earth, smells, dawn, and sunsets anywhere. Being here makes me feel more me.
I moved every 3 years growing up. My sister and I used to joke that after 3 years we still got the itch to move as adults. Letting go, moving on, settling in, digging deep. For some the challenge of this life is to let go, to not hold places and people so tightly, to find yourself wherever you are. For others, like me, the challenge is to feel safe enough to stay- to place my bets on this one place. (Wow it's scary just to write that!!!) I always used to have an exit strategy. Now as the years roll by, I realize I do that less and less. And feeling that sense of home.... it was worth the wait.
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