Is This Even Mine?

 

 It's not always about us.

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     You enter a room of people and all of a sudden you feel heavy.  You hear from a dear friend that she has bad news.   You care.  You feel.  But with clients I find it helpful to ask "whose bad feelings are you are carrying?"  Are they your burdens or did you pick them up from someone else?  Do the negative things you feel even belong to you?

    We are ultimately responsible for our own experiences.    How we respond to life will often inform how our lives turn out.   When we take on the bad feelings of others as our own, it does two things.  One, it makes what is happening be about us and not them.  Two, it makes us less able to help since we are now dealing with negative emotions ourselves and this reduces our openness and clarity.   So the next time you are feeling overwhelmed by sadness or anger ask yourself:  Is this stuff even mine?  And if the answer is no, then do some heart-centered activity and reset that dial.  

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