I spent a lot of time looking back- over my childhood, my past mistakes, the things I said to people the week before. And I found that 9 times out of 10 when I was reviewing past comments, I was actually looking for ways to judge myself. Did I sound silly? Did I sound pushy or judgmental? Did they misunderstand me? So this self-reflection was actually self-criticism pretending to be constructive. You know those people in your life who are constantly telling you how you can improve "for your own good"? And maybe they really think they are helping but you end up feeling depressed after talking with them?
Well your own thought practices can be much the same way. This is not the same as knowing someone was hurt and trying to figure out why. This is LOOKING for trouble, anticipating problems where none exist. Why would we do this? The busy mind does this to prepare for danger. And when it's got nothing in the present to fixate on? It will churn up past events and go looking. So now when I find myself churning, I stop. I take a deep breath and bring my attention back to the present. What is happening right here, right now? Not far away in a distant land, not yesterday or next week but right in this moment? And from that place of center, I can almost always find peace and balance. Where are YOU right now?
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