What Weighs You Down?

When I reflect back over my own journey to wellness in the last year and a half,  I vividly remember the sensation of weight.  It wasn't just that I was unhappy with my dress size.  It was a feeling that life was literally pressing down on me.  It was becoming more difficult to do every day things, from fixing irrigation pipe and tending to my farm, to playing with my kids.  It wasn't that I was out of breath, had a health condition or was in a lot of pain.  It was more sneaky than that.  I just didn't feel like doing anything; I had no spark.   And I told myself that this was just my genes, my personality and an unavoidable fact of aging.  At the time, I was in chronic low level inflammation, but I didn't know it.   I woke up feeling tired and sometimes achy.   I felt super sleepy after lunch.  I went to bed early but didn't sleep well and would start the whole process over again each day.   I vacillated  between taking immense pleasure in food, to hating the constant chore it presented to me as a mom.    I just felt off on so many levels and scared to even try to change.   I knew myself well enough that any kind of restrictive diet, would send me into intense conflict.  I would start to obsess about food intake.  I had to be a  good mother and partner; I could not afford to go off the deep end with my diet.    And frankly at this point, I was tired of the whole fascination with weight.  So what did I do?

I took my weight off the table as a point of improvement.  I decided my goals would be about health.  I believe you can be healthy at large, medium and small sizes.   I fully embrace HAES (Health At Every Size).  So I started small and I started slow.  I decided one of my goals would be to not get type 2 Diabetes Mellitus which my father suffers from.  I wanted to increase my stamina but I also had experienced exercise burn out a few years before so I had to be cautious on this front as well.  There was a good reason it took me so long to tackle my health!  It was tricky.  I really had to tread lightly and negotiate every step.  My mantra at the time was : each day no matter how small, do something good for myself.   Self-care meant a whole lot of focus on what I ate, what I did with my body and what I didn't do as well.  It was a slow but steady process.  But once I felt the benefits of better sleep, and increased energy and good moods, I was all in.  

And now at 41, I feel better than I did in my 30's and I am fully energized in my life like never before.  I want to help people who struggle with these issues.  Today I feel light.  Sure, I weigh 15 pounds less, but that was never my goal and I am not model thin.  Weight loss can be a side effect of better health.  And this was true for me and may be true for you.  But my eyes were always fixed on my overall health improvement.  And boy did I get it.   Do you crave better health?  Does my story resonate with you?  I can help.  This is what my coaching is all about.  Don't give up on yourself.  There is a road to better health for everyone and it doesn't have to hurt and it doesn't have to become another obsession that burns out.